The Three Rs of Labor
What do you think of when you hear “the Three Rs”? I think of my grandpa singing a very old-timey song. Or maybe you’ve heard it said in an old movie? You know, the one about, ‘reading, ‘riting, and ‘rithmetic!
Well, tell that old movie jingle to move along. There are three new “Rs” in town!
I’m referring to the three Rs of labor.
World-renowned childbirth educator, doula, and author, Penny Simkin, offers us “the new Rs” (my term, not hers). The new Rs are based on Penny’s observation of hundreds of labors across different cultures. They are the common, instinctual coping behaviors of those who manage well during childbirth.
Penny found three common factors among those who coped well during labor: three behaviors that boiled down to Relaxation, Rhythm, and Ritual.
Relaxation (calm the body)
Feeling relaxed encourages the production of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for starting labor and maintaining contractions. Oxytocin signals the body and lets it be known that you and your baby are safe. In turn, the body encourages labor to proceed. Incorporating breathing, touch, water, and other positive mindset techniques into the birthing process are ways to promote a more relaxed and gentle labor.
Rhythm (calm the mind)
Rhythmic activity is calming and creates a sense of connection between mind and body. Movement, breath, sound, and touch performed in a rhythmic pattern can help slow an active mind and decrease tension in the body. Creating a rhythmic environment and letting your body move and sway can bring your mind and body into sync.
Ritual (set the tone)
A ritual is any message or behavior that is repeated. Anything you do, either during or between contractions, can become your ritual. A favorite affirmation may be repeated in a chant style. Pacing between bed and bathroom can be trance inducing or become a type of offering. Pouring water from a pitcher to a bowl or in the bath, over your open palms (if someone else pours) can be done as a symbolic cleansing. Really, anything you do from the time you enter the birthing space can be “performed” in a ritualistic manner—and will contribute to the sacred event that is to come. Finding patterns in everyday tasks can help you to stay focused, brave, and ready to endure a long labor.
Seeking out relaxing, rhythmic rituals—either planned or spontaneous—brings all three Rs together!
Here are a few relaxing, rhythmic rituals that have stood out during my personal observation of labor. These are things my clients have instinctually done that helped them stay calm and comforted between and during contractions.
Sway in your partner’s arms to the rhythm of your favorite songs. Bonus points if your partner sings in your ear (dependent on singing ability, of course!).
Use a jade roller in a rhythmic pattern to relax the muscles of your face and jaw. Sidenote: Did you know that tension in your jaw is linked to tension in your pelvis? Relaxing one spot naturally relaxes the other! AND a relaxed pelvic region gives baby a bit more space which helps baby’s descent.
Ask your support team to count along with your breathing. Have them count the seconds of each inhale and exhale out loud, helping you find a breath pattern that keeps you most centered and grounded, as well as bringing your teammates or partner into sync with you.
Holding onto a chair or bedrail, or in some way ensuring your stability, rock forward and back with one foot slightly elevated like a pirate. Bonus points: hum in a deep, low voice.
Have one of your support people gently brush your hair or massage your scalp. Did you know each hair follicle has four different nerve endings? Rhythmically massaging the scalp and hairline can help release tension, reduce pain perception, and increase the “positive hormones.” Win, win, WIN!
Look at pictures of beloved pets, your wedding, or fun times with friends to get the oxytocin flowing (there’s that “love hormone” again, working to keep labor progressing).
Silent prayers, mantras, and affirmations. The sky’s the limit! You really can turn any thought that makes you feel safe, supported, and strong into a relaxing, rhythmic ritual.
In the tub, have your partner pour water on your shoulders and down your back in a rhythmic pattern. Hydrotherapy can be a wonderful way to stay more relaxed and ensure a sense of calm.
Are you feeling reading to explore and develop your own 3Rs? Here are a few ideas to get started!
Think about what generally helps you to relax.
Ask yourself, “What can I do in this moment to release just a smidgen of tension?”
Notice when something you do has a rhythm.
Tune into the rhythm of your favorite music.
Think of any current rituals you may have. What is one thing you do daily?
Invite your spouse or partner to create a new ritual.
Be sure to pack your go-to relaxers in your birth bag (essential oils, hairbrush, headphones, speaker, eye mask, sound machine, etc.).
Are you beginning to envision your positive birth? How might you incorporate the Three Rs? Please let me know if this sparked any ideas for your upcoming birth!